Smile, it might never happen

resting bitch faceHello everyone, my name is Paul and I suffer from ‘resting bitch face’. This is a serious condition which has started affecting my day to day life and relationships.

Urban dictionary:
resting bitch face
a person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to.

‘Nah, she’s just got a resting bitch face, she’s actually really sweet’

 

Main Problems I have with RBF is that people I don’t like can’t tell effectively enough that I don’t like them.

Or

People I do like can’t tell effectively enough that I do like them.

On the inside I am bundle of pure delight and joy. But, no one ever see’s that. Rather they would focus on the fact that I’m not wearing a painted on smile worthy of killing Batman. I find that often people mistake my facial expressions as a conversation starter. Which would be very effective should I ever turn into a manic who has a other worldly need to speak to people.

But then there are days, bright amazing days, where I am happy to be awake, happy to be alive. Days when sitting up from bed did not require a 10 minute motivational speech. Days where taking those first steps upon the bedroom floor are not accompanied by various cracks and moans. Days when everything is just… just fine. So maybe there does creep the slightest of smiles, the smallest sparkles of a glint in the eye or the tiniest tolerance of the human race. And on these rare but every bit as important days the response I am met with is -‘what’s up with that lunatic?’

Because let us be honest, smiling for no reason at all means you should, more or less, be first on the waiting list for Bedlam.

Having RBF means that on an almost daily basis you are faced with “who’s pissed you off?” or “Why are you so mad”. Truth be told I am mad/pissed now because you assume by looking at me that my cat must have died or been murdered by an embittered ex-girlfriend.

 

I don’t and never have owned a cat so no animal was hurt during this mental image

 

BFace

RBF leads me into awkward conversations with friends who are trying to get to the bottom of just what’s up. Never ever letting ‘nothing’ be the answer. The awkwardness stemming from the fact that you have both just seen the switch in tone of voice and RBF to that of Beelzebub’s nightmarish voice with ABF (Actually Bitch Face).

But then ABF is sometimes the only way to get across that you aren’t angry or annoyed. By which time you are and the person you are trying to convince that nothing is wrong is now firmly convinced that there is.

RBF I am sure makes me seem unapproachable when I’m really not. It also makes me seem as though I’m judging someone and the conversation we are having is what their life is dependant on.

"Kill him"
“Kill him”

 Ok, so maybe I am judging you but it’s not life or death.

AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE STOP TELLING ME TO SMILE!

OH MY GOD I am Bella. FFS
OH MY GOD
I am Bella. FFS
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4 thoughts on “Smile, it might never happen

  1. Ha ha. My 8th grade best friend’s resting face looked like a very PO’d face. I never noticed until she pointed it out to me. She was usually talking, laughing, or smiling. I didn’t remember that until I read your post. Thanks for prompting that memory. 🙂

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