I first had the idea for this post quite early this morning. It was going to be about the ability to ‘just let it go’. About not letting things bother you and taking the world in your stride. It’s an ability, which over the years, has become relatively easy for me and I predict becoming even easier as the years glide by.
But that was quite early this morning and I run a pub. A pub which allows people in. A pub which allows people in to drink. A pub which allows people in to drink and talk. A mere sixteen hours later and the ‘just letting things go’ attitude I was refreshed to wake up with has turned into…
Since turning 30 a few years ago I have found that my tolerance for certain things has dropped dramatically but this hasn’t phased me, as since I realised this I have had very little need for tolerance. I have an ability to ‘let it go’ but this is mainly due to the fact that I JUST DO NOT CARE.
I was going to talk about how easy it has been letting go off feelings for lost lovers, how by way of forgetting that certain people may find forgiveness. But it is now neither of these things. That lost love can stay lost or just f**k off.
The flip side of love, hate. Hate used to be a difficult emotion to let go. But it is now really quite easy to pass it by. That person or situation that I would previously have hated can now just f**k off.
Certain people used to be difficult to be around, either because they drain the life out of me or I find them difficult to tolerate. But not any more, these difficult to tolerate life suckers can now just f**k off.
So many emotions. I have always been quite Vulcan like, my face does not easily show emotion. People usually mistake this for a bad mood. It’s not! I have feelings and emotions the same as any other living person. But I am no longer led by my emotions, because, yes you guessed it, they can just f**k off.
Sixteen hours of working in the presence of people has also lead me to rediscover my love for a certain phrase…
Seriously, f**k this sh*t!
My day is done and I go to bed after writing this post. What at some time in the AM was planned to be a grown up, mature essay on being able to let the annoyances of life not get you down has turned into a rambling rant filled with so many F-bombs the alphabet hardly exists to me any more.
I now look forward to turning off the lights and laying down to sleep. After possibly a few half hours of silent rocking in a corner somewhere. Praying that tomorrow people and their situations will know when it’s time to JUST F**K OFF.
Sweet dreams people.