Reminding myself of who I am.

Just at a time when I’m finding myself (once again) I re-read the first post to get a reaction on WordPress. Sometimes you need time to connect with yourself and remember who you are.

Who am I?

who am i

I am I…

I’ll be honest I don’t know what that means. I’d like to think I know myself very well, I guess I’m just not that good at expressing it.

Currently I am

  • 32 with a month left before 33. (3weeks)  Now 33
  • I’m currently single and actually really happy to be
  • I really enjoy being left alone
  • To that extent the cinema on my own is one of my favourite pass times
  • When I enjoy a certain thing I get really, really involved
  • Things can really annoy me but I care very little about most
  • I love a good rant

Clinging on to these three weeks


I was born old, or at least older than my years would say. I’ve always had a level head even during my ‘wild’ early 20s.

I think maybe I’ve always been a bit of a cynic. This is a good quality as far as I’m concerned but as my body catches up with my mind I’m starting to wish for my youth back. My once long, beautiful, mullet styled hair-do is now but a distant memory. It started really declining at about 27/28 to the point now where if I let it grow more than 2 weeks it looks as though I’ve shaved a ridiculous exclamation mark on top of my head. But I’ve figured it out. Its not falling out, I have become a victim of gravity. My once long Wolverine main is being dragged down through the top of my head and out, mostly, through my nose.

My once golden flamed beard now looks as though somebody has attempted to put out the flames with a foamy white extinguisher. My facial hair skipped four levels of grey and went straight to ghostly white.


My goodness I’m clinging on to the next three weeks. 33 seems to be such a nothing age and I don’t think I have the motivation to make it something.

Relationship Status


No, really, I’m so happy being single. Even if I do get interest (which yeah, I’m falling over women throwing themselves at me) I don’t notice it or find a reason as to why it’s the worst idea since the Michael Jackson Children’s Ward.

This I feel is the result of the decade of my 20’s going from one ‘relationship’ to another.  I wasn’t a good man, even when I tried to be. I knew at the time why this was and I am just a little ashamed of most of my behaviour. But then again even when I tried and managed to be ‘a good fella’ it all went terribly wrong.

Mother: “You’re gonna die alone you know”

Me: “Yeah probably, but I’m actually Ok with that”

Mother: “You’re too much like me”

Me: Suddenly started questioning my parents impending 35 year wedding anniversary.


not listening

I love my friends, I really do. Over the years I have whittled them down to just the good few. But… I like my own company. Have you ever noticed that the more you speak to someone the more you end up repeating yourself? I have noticed many times with a few people who I have an awful amount of time for that talking to them is that comfy jumper. The conversation has become so repetitive that I could do it in my sleep. And I hate, hate, hate repetition.

I really enjoy my own company, I think it’s probably a stage in life that everyone has to reach. A trip to the movies is NOT WEIRD as a single 30 something year old man. Just the other day I went to watch The Expendables 3 on my own. But was a really alone? 12:40 in the afternoon, a long cue to buy tickets, every person (bar one Mother and child) was an over 30yr old male. I felt assured that the only tickets being sold for Step up 5 were being sold to the mother and child.

How the first 4 Step up movies had past me by I don’t know but as I made my way up the escalator with my popcorn I knew that screen 5 was where I needed to be. Screen 5 doubling up for the next few hours as the safe house almost any single bloke in the area with free time found themselves. I wasn’t alone, I’d found brotherhood.

The things I like I really like. Everything else does not exsist.


Doctor Who is now in charge of certain parts of my life, I’ve grown up with it and I will grow old with it. As a young child I remember watching it with my father. The 3rd Doctor was my first Doctor and I feel very lucky that my dad shared that with me. My parents had me when they were very early in their 20’s and to this extent my father still had his boy-geek personalty fully intact. By the time my two younger brothers arrived he had somewhat grown out of it and I feel genuinely lucky to have been around first to share that with him.

What do you want for Christmas/Birthday Paul?  This question hardly ever gets asked. When I’ve run out of Sonic Screwdrivers and TARDIS models to be brought there’s always Doctor Who Mr Potato Heads and Dalek Egg cups.

What I don’t have time for anymore- Exciting shower gel, by the time I’ve run a bath, had a coffee and got in said bath I am awake enough. I don’t need to be slapped all over my body with mint, exciting, refreshing mint. It’s a wash to clean myself before leaving the house. What it’s not is a fun filled trip to a theme park with a brand new mint scented roller-coaster of fun to confuse your body by not knowing if you are cold or not.

Christmas German markets: This is a real hot button. I F**king hate them. We have spent thousands of years developing indoors to protect us from the winter. Why the Hell do people think ‘I know what I need, to drink sh*t beer in the cold’.

There any many, many more things that annoy me. Many more.

  •  Tea-spoons
  • Ironing
  • Grammar Nazi’s
  • Internet bandwagons
  • Mass bandwagons
  • The phrase ‘Smile’
  • The phrase ‘You can’t say that’
  • Deodorant (it isn’t making you smell good my friend)
  • Why antiperspirant isn’t the standard
  • 17 blade razor upgrades. There has to be a point when you say that’s enough blades for me
  • Good customer service- Or prying customer servers.
  • Adverts for ‘Donkey Charities’

This could go on for some time so I’m going to leave it with the Donkey.



Hi my name is Paul.

I am exactly who I need to be.



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