Another Late Night Realisation

It’s that time of night again!

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The time of night w2015/01/img_6160.jpghen after a real long day at work I should be all relaxed and getting ready to sleep- to shut down and reboot, if you will.
Alas the same thing has happened tonight that normally happens. My brain has decided to focus on one particular aspect of my life and rinse the Hell out of it. Tonight I should be worry free as I have booked myself a hotel for the weekend. This was mainly from necessity as I have a very busy working weekend and am currently in the middle of a house refurbishment. Yes, of course I am more than able to stay in my home during this time but I have decided to treat myself- and I thoroughly deserve it.

I think that because I have been thinking about this hotel stay I am thinking back to the last couple of times I have stayed in a hotel for any duration longer than one night. I thought of the situations in which I’ve needed to stay in hotels, and yes, they have normally involved two persons staying.
You see, from the age of about twenty-three, almost ten years ago, I have only ever had reason to stay in hotels for reasons couples normally stay in hotels. -Holidays mainly, but yeah your mind probably went to the same place mine was at.
Then I started thinking about my home situation. Since the age of twenty-three this is possible the longest I’ve been single. Single and not sharing a house. Single and loving it.

What was my late night realisation?

Since the age of twenty-three the women I have lived with, in the capacity of a couple living together, has not just been girlfriends living in my home. I allowed them to move in, sure. I enjoyed them living in the same building I did. But I did something else as well, something which I doubt I will ever do again.
I allowed them to move in.

To move in not only my home but my head. There has been in the last ten years two significant women whom I have allowed to take up residence in my mind. The last one had moved in so fully that she had completely redecorated and changed the locks.
It’s only now (possibly a few years too late) that I realise what has happened. It’s too late in the night, or early in the morning for me to get the paint brushes out but I feel a mind redecoration has been going on without me even realising for a while now. Maybe starting from this weekends hotel stays I can come back on Sunday night and pitch in, fully aware of the colour I’m painting in my new home, my mind palace.

Now I’ve got that off my chest I am going to lay back down and try sleeping. I am currently awake enough to post but not so much awake that I’m going to proof read this- maybe a job for the morning- this could be utter rambling nonsense.

Night everyone. 🙂

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