They Don’t Make Coffee Strong Enough

First some context.

For the last two and a half months I’ve been working six days a week, mostly shifts between 12 and 16 hours a day. I’m lucky if I get between 5 and 6 hours sleep a night, with weekends spent being lucky if I get just 4 hours of sleep.
During the last two months I’ve not been well. I had some sort of virus at the start of this time period which caused the glands in my throat to swell up to such an extent that drinking water was a cause of major discomfort. Since this whatever virus it was has been travelling around my body trying hard to find a way of putting me down for a couple of days. The thing is, yes, I admit this may seem rather melodramatic but I just don’t have the time to be ill and I refuse to be knocked down by anything.

Around the same time as work became overloading and illness became a daily ‘thing’ I had gotten myself into a new relationship. Whatever time I now had to enjoy rocking on the floor in a light less room, whilst enjoying silence, has now been taken up by someone who will probably give me a few funny glances should I find myself sitting in a darkened corner of the room, silently rocking away until sleep finally takes hold.
I should qualify the last paragraph by saying I don’t actually mind. In all honesty I  love it. Finally after years of broken relationships I’ve finally found someone who takes care of ME better than I take care of myself. Only ten minutes ago I received a phone call to find out if I wanted to eat when I got home after work tonight and the food she cooks for me is literally some of the best food I’ve ever eaten -If left to my own devices it would, at most, be a greasy kebab or a tin of beans.doner_kebab

I’ve been struggling with the idea of exercise but when would I fit it in. Plus I work as a bar tender, I’m on my feet all day and night. I couldn’t force myself into any activity which would involve me being on my feet for any longer, especially if that activity involved moving faster on those feet. No thank you, no thank you.    

On the upside the last couple of weeks I have found more than a few people commenting on how much weight I’ve lost. The first couple of “have you lost weight?” questions I’d honestly thought that it was only because I had shaved of my considerable beard.
After about five comments I genuinely had start to wonder, well, honestly to worry. I can not really afford to be losing too much weight, apart from ‘a bit of a belly’ I’m actually rather trim.
It had taken me a couple of weeks but I actually jumped on the scales yesterday. I was a little worried in all honesty, I’ve been ill and very run down, weight loss could be something I need to actually worry about. As it turns out though I haven’t lost any weight at all. It would seem that I have just toned up.
Cue many selfies standing in front of mirrors with no shirt. 

And thankfully I won’t need to push myself into ‘more’ exercising because THEY DON’T MAKE COFFEE STRONG ENOUGH for that.

Yesterday morning was great. I was looking after my Godson. I’m now feeling my ideal job is babysitting but I’m a- nearly- 34 year old man. I shouldn’t be aspiring to the job ideal of a teenage girl.
I’d gotten two hours sleep after work the night before but from 8AM I was Mr Nanny,  the first few hours of eating McMuffins and watching cartoons went well.
Heading into the afternoon the doors to the garden were opened. It was a really nice, hot day yesterday so playtime in the garden was a given. After teaching a one year old how to sumo wrestle it was time for a little football.
I have a little gift when it comes to football, unfortunately I’d only found this gift yesterday- my footballing prowess only extends to being able to beat a 20 months old child at football.  I’ve never been a fan of soccer and I’ve never had the foot coordination to play. But I can beat him now, maybe never again but NOW is what matters.
I had a long night at work straight after looking after him and it was during this time that a realised- I’m great with kids but they DON’T MAKE COFFEE STRONG ENOUGH for me to be able to work and have kids of my own. working-dad

Today I was lucky enough to have five hours sleep last night. It is probably going to be a quiet day but that doesn’t take any time off the 14 hour shift I’m working.
I would love to open myself up to time management suggestions but I find it’s not a problem with management of my time, I don’t have any ‘spare’ time to manage. Maybe I’ve reached the long life goal of actually being a Timelord. Time for my life is now retaliative, ever minuet of every hour blends seamlessly in to last week and tomorrow. It could easily still be 1996 just as it could right now be 2022.

This is my life…

and no coffee is strong enough to keep me going! 


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