• Admittedly I haven’t been here for a very long time, but approaching 45 I wanted a side quest to break up work, home, work, home.
    1month ago I purchased a new laptop for no reason- I already have a home computer but it wasn’t small enough to go in the new over stairs cupboard I turned into a ‘safe space’.
    Basically a small desk, Jazz music and some fake plants.
    The older I get the more I like a small space. Who knows why.

    Anyway, drunk on my intended first day, of restart.
    Perfect for ideas… not so perfect for actual produce…

    I don’t want to use ‘anyway’ again but ‘anyway’ lets see if this goes anywhere.

    Also, I have no idea what I am doing… Ahhh life

  • My life in VHS

    via My life in VHS

  • Urban dictionary describes these girls as- 10 to 2 girl Noun – A girl who you might try and chat up or pull in a nightclub when it gets to 1:50am and just want a snog before you have to leave. These are normally fat girls and ones you’d never normally bother talking to (see […]

    via The Rise and Fall of the 10 to 2 Girl — MrPolly

  • And then you realise how things have changed…

    It has been a long while since I have posted anything here. Mainly due to not having the time or inclination to do so. There are many things I could blame but after mentally listing them all I realised that none of it really matters.
    I’ve written down ideas constantly in the last year, thinking ‘that would make a great blog post’. Not once did one of them make it from paper to screen.
    I admit there are many times where I have genuinely missed writing here, more so I have missed the interactions I had with the people who also use this site. At the time of using WordPress more often I was perhaps feeling a little low. I generally don’t like interaction with people. When I say that I mean in ‘actual’ life. I work as a barman/bar manager, part of my job is participating in other peoples conversations/lifes. I’m very, very good at my job and at social interaction, however when I have finished work I like nothing more than my own time. Spent alone.
    This all changed last Christmas when I decided to get engaged. I’d met someone whom, for the first time in my life, I actually wanted to spend my life with.
    In the course of the last year my biggest area to work on was my new lack of personal time. I was no longer alone. However great that maybe sometimes I have struggled.
    With a new step in the most serious relationship I’ve ever had  I realised that I have a new family.
    A new family that adores me (not even being big headed). My best friend for the last year has been my partners younger brother. I have a new Grandparent, who after I got a little emotional one night has fully filled the gap left by the death of my own grandparents. And so on… I actually spend more time with this new family than I do with my own. They have all really accepted me and that is an amazing feeling.

    I’m not entirely sure where this post was going so I’m actually just going to post it and walk away.

    But anyone who may still follow this site- A very Happy New Year. Hope to see you and your posts around.

     

    (And going to post has proved that I don’t actually remember how to do it properly)

     

  • My life in VHS

    My life in VHS

    Growing up nowadays kids miss the sheer joy and wonder that was ‘the local video store’.

    I remember going in my local video shop with my parents as a child and I had entered a world that was full of wonder, full of possibilities and full of friends. Not friends I had from school or from my local area, these were friends that you could rewind and fast forward, these were friends who’s best moments could be paused with a shaky grainy quality allowing you to beg mother for more popcorn.

    Yes it is to you my old friend VHS that I dedicate this post to.
    Of course with the invent of new formats these cherished old plastic boxes of delight have faded and are now re-homed on charity shop shelves or have been melted down and probably reformed into what I now use as a razor, but the loss of these beautiful objects cuts me deeper than any razor ever could.

    I have managed to save 22 of these wonderful objects and I’d like to share with you my favourites.

    Transformers-the movie: the original and best movie from 1986. The one where Optimus Prime died and stayed dead until the release of ‘T10620934_10152255124426437_1018635054_nhe Return Of Optimus Prime’.
    This video was brought for me as a 21st birthday present from my best mate at the time. We immediately played the cassette. Three lads, 21,23 and 24, all sat on a sofa crying at the death of Optimus as two girls sat shaking their heads in bemusement. It still to this day has the best entrance of any movie character, near the beginning as Optimus arrives to save the day to the tune –‘you’ve got the touch’. Watch the link and feel the goosebumps!
    I LOVE THIS FILM.

    Lord of the rings- the animated classic from10638123_10152255124601437_1711462986_n the late 70s. It’s is not a patch on the books or the recent films but being as it was made before I was born and the memories of it scareing the life out of me as a child, I just could not bare to part with it.

     

     

     

    Peter Kay-live at the top10608978_10152255124706437_1400444572_n of the tower. This standup video came out at about the same time as my sexual peak. And I can not thank Peter Kay enough for the amount of times his video got me laid.
    “I’ve got the Peter Kay video if you fancy coming back and watching it”- no chat up line could ever have worked better.

     

     

    Masters of the Universe– this one made the list especially for suzie81. I admit I do love this mastersterrible movie but no where near as much as she loves Dolph.

     

     

     

     

     Lab10615720_10152255125861437_1867766848_nyrinth:- the only explanation for not throwing this away- “you remind me of the babe.” “What babe”?
    Cue everyone joining in. Love it.

     

     

     

    The rock10617385_10152255126036437_1528971508_ny horror picture show:- simply divine! Again a film that came out a long time before I was born but I’d challenge anyone to watch without liking it.

    And that leads to ‘Little shop of horrors‘ again one of my favourite musicals. FEED ME NOWWWW!10621865_10152255125916437_1447671059_n

     

     

     

     

    10595929_10152255126136437_1782458496_nDisneys ‘The Fox and the Hound‘- picture the scene. My best friends 16birthday party. A house party where parents allowed us the drunken run of the house for a night. And the worst thing that happened after a little bit of sick. Two lads crying at 4am, drunk, watching the fox and the hound whilst surrounded by passed out lightweights.

     

     

     

    10622152_10152255126351437_1073838663_nAnd then The Goonies. Admittedly I only own this because it’s a very late return. The shop probably disappeared 15yrs ago. So I feel it my duty to look after this cassette with care. The late fee is going to be extortionate. But it is one of the greatest kids movies EVER made.

     

     

     

    I have a few more but these are the ones I will probably take to the grave.

  • So I was bored and routing through cupboards earlier tonight and I found a few drawings I did 18 years ago. 

    You can probably tell I really liked Star Wars when I was 15. 

    Admiral Ackbar
    Admiral Ackbar
    Master Yoda
    Master Yoda
    Super Troopers
    Super Troopers
    3P0
    3P0
    Mrs Doubtfire. This was a 'poster' I had made for a friend and I after we decided to take part in the schools musical event as Mrs Doubtfire & The Flames. We were pretty awful.
    Mrs Doubtfire. This was a ‘poster’ I had made for a friend and I after we decided to take part in the schools musical event as Mrs Doubtfire & The Flames. We were pretty awful.

  • Things I learned after a Facebook friend became a father.

    He is immensely proud that his sperm works. There will then be a deluge of status updates mentioning his new child combined with constant photos of him with said child. Expect to see the ‘pretending to be asleep with the child asleep on his chest’ selfie.

    He still wants other women to find him attractive and he knows full well that a lot of women go weak at the knees over a fatherly man. Expect then to see more ‘pretending to sleep’ and status updates about being tired and appreciating how hard women work.

    He knows that his life has changed dramatically. But he’s been preparing for this for some time now. You will get the occasional status about how ‘things have changed’ about how ‘different things were just a couple of years ago’ and the ‘sorry I’ve not had time to respond to all the messages’ message. All of this will add up to more photos being uploaded, more minute by minute status changes and all because he’s trying to convince the world of the man he has recently become. Because if you lie to everyone you start convincing yourself.

  • 1995…

    1995…

    1995…

    Was 10 years ago, and right now there is not a damn word that would convince me it wasn’t!

  • Christmas Romance – A short story

    He rushed home after work that night. Quicker than he had ever rushed home after work before, for tonight he was going out, tonight had been set up as the celebration of the culmination of a years hard work at the office.
    He readied himself quickly in the bathroom ensuring that there was an extra couple of squirts of aftershave in some very distinct places.

    He made his way to the bar and spent a few hours chatting and drinking with people whom he had just found a new higher sense of tolerance for. Then gazing around the bar, looking for conversation inspiration he spies her.
    Instantaneously she spies him, their eyes locked from a distance an optician would be proud of.

    Their brains were connected by a cosmic force that seemed to be driving them together when the same thought crossed their minds. As their eyes were locked they could read each others thoughts, causing an almost small amount of nervous amusement.

    The thought that they shared as they looked at each other across the room?
    One simple thought that was to sum up their entire Christmas experience for that year. The thought that would dictate the level at which every party in the future would be judged against.

    They both thought- ‘You’ll do’.

  • The Rise and Fall of the 10 to 2 Girl

    images (2)Urban dictionary describes these girls as-

    Noun – A girl who you might try and chat up or pull in a nightclub when it gets to 1:50am and just want a snog before you have to leave. These are normally fat girls and ones you’d never normally bother talking to (see ‘beer goggles’). Pulling a 10 to 2 bird will top off your night and make the entry fee to the club seem worth it and generally make you feel better about yourself! (see ‘charlie big balls’)
    Come on mate i haven’t pulled yet, lets go and find a 10 to 2 girl!
    by Alex Howarth February 01, 2006
    Now I’m writing this as a man so it may come off as a little sexist. I assure you I’m not.
    My younger self however could be construed as such but only by today’s standards by which sexism is judged. Judged by many people, including my older self.
    Let me take you back ten years. I was ten years younger! -and full of sexual desire.
    I have talked in previous posts about the relationship between my genitals and my brain and you can probably guess where most of the decision making came from.
    As a younger man, working in a lively, busy bar I was never short of nights out. Usually with a group of people about the same age as me. Our nights, as with many young people in the UK, seemed to go like this:
    1. Get ready to meet up around 6/7pm
    2. Go to a local pub and begin drinking, heavy drinking
    3. When the pub closed at eleven get the last few drinks down your neck and call taxi’s
    4. Join the queue for chosen night club
    5. Spend the night trying to- A) Chat people up -or- B) Try to dance well so’s you impress a young lady

    For a few of us- OK mainly me- the chatting up didn’t really work and as for the dancing to impress, if I was dancing I was to far ‘in the zone’ to have time to notice if I had impressed anyone. Oh my nickname was ‘Snake hips’ until about 25- True story.

     

    So what happened to those of us that never got the girl throughout the night?

    All was not lost, for there was a magical time awaiting us. A time in which we were as smooth talking as Don Juan and we could dance as though Patrick Swayze requested our help keeping ‘Baby’ out of the corner (and more than a few times did we try that famous lift).

    All of this was obviously alcohol induced. But no matter how drunk you were you knew what time the golden hour was. You had just ten minutes to make sure that by the time the burly club bouncers walked around the club telling you to ‘get out’ you were hanging from the arm of some ‘hottie’.

    Yes, a hottie, because regardless of how Urban Dictionary describes them she was hot, really hot and she was yours.

    These girls were not looked down on and no less respected than the girl you’d spent all night buying drinks for who disappeared with her friends or her significantly ‘bigger than you’ boyfriend. In fact that girl was just horrible and had a much worse reputation. Bitch!- Sorry some years of repressed bitterness there.download (1)

    That money grabbing harlot was nothing to you by 2am, because you had bagged yourself a girl. She was the one, for that night at least. Some of them you could even drag a few weeks of relationship out of before she realised what a douche you were or you both realised that you really didn’t want to be around each other sober.

    Those were the golden days. Everyone knew about the 10 to 2 girl and she wasn’t as bad as you remembered. In fact there’s a few of them that you should probably have stayed with. –There’s that repressed bitterness again.

    BUT THEN in 2003, new 24hour drinking laws came inimages

    2003 saw the decline of the 10 to 2 girls. Pubs were open past 11pm suddenly there was little need to rush to the club as chances were it was open until about 4am.
    You’d think that this simply made 10 to 2 girls evolve and become 10 to 4 girls. But it didn’t!
    It is easy to explain- That extra two hours didn’t mean we went out later, it meant we drank for two hours longer. Suddenly 10 to 2 girls could be found huddled over in doorways trying not to vomit on the street. That extra two hours of drinking meant that men were suddenly not interested in the lack of women but rather fighting other men over the lack of women. It was a shambles.
    An extra two hours drinking turned the UK’s young drinkers into animals. images (1)

    And there was no specific time for the last chance saloon chat up line. No designated ‘it’s now or never’ moment.
    I mean what are you to do, follow a girl around all night and wait until ten minutes before you think she’s ready to call it a night a go home alone. Which you know you’re going to end up doing. Well you simply can’t do that. For one, I haven’t the energy or motivation and for two, you would come across as a complete stalker.

    It matters not anyway. People will still meet (somehow) and people will still breed, the world will keep turning and the human race will continue.


    I would just like to say-

    “10 to 2 girl, I miss you and I salute you. It was good to be young and it was very nice to meet you. You were and still are beautiful and you will always be missed”

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