Things I learned after a Facebook friend became a father.

He is immensely proud that his sperm works. There will then be a deluge of status updates mentioning his new child combined with constant photos of him with said child. Expect to see the ‘pretending to be asleep with the child asleep on his chest’ selfie.

He still wants other women to find him attractive and he knows full well that a lot of women go weak at the knees over a fatherly man. Expect then to see more ‘pretending to sleep’ and status updates about being tired and appreciating how hard women work.

He knows that his life has changed dramatically. But he’s been preparing for this for some time now. You will get the occasional status about how ‘things have changed’ about how ‘different things were just a couple of years ago’ and the ‘sorry I’ve not had time to respond to all the messages’ message. All of this will add up to more photos being uploaded, more minute by minute status changes and all because he’s trying to convince the world of the man he has recently become. Because if you lie to everyone you start convincing yourself.